How do I handle his severe depression, former alcohol/drug abuse and holidays?

My husband is being treated for depression. He is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. He has an addictive personality. He is/was addicted to , mostly kids. I caught him looking at a video of a girl, 8-10 yrs old, and that (2 months ago) was the beginning of the end. It brought back all old memories of my own ual abuse when I was 10. I had gone to a shrink to get over it. He wants to help me get over the feelings of my past, he says. I believe he does in his way. His way is to pressure me into . It disgusts me for him to even touch me. He knows ALL of this. He keeps pressuring. I am going to file for divorce AFTER the holidays, but I need advice on how to tell him there is no hope for us. I need to make sure he understands that it is MY feelings that are pushing me away because I can no longer deal with the past. He has researched suicide in the VERY recent past and that scares me. Had I known about his kiddie before we got married we wouldn't be married.