Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Ever had an experience like this?

I am 14 and a half weeks pregnant today. This entire pregnancy just feel wrong. By wrong I mean, I have 2 other children. One is almost 3 the other is almost 2. I know what it's like to be pregnant and I know every pregnancy is different. My son was a breeze, when pregnant women said they were sick, I shrugged and though, wimps...Then my daughter came along. She was difficult. I was sick for the first and half of the second trimester. Just nausea and puking, nothing too crazy and after a while you kind of get used to it. It only happened once a day so it wasn't too horrible. THEN this one. This baby has been a surprise from the get go. My husband was planning on getting a vasectomy, I was on birth control, we though our family was complete. God had other plans, so now we are looking forward to a 3rd set of little feet wondering around our house. The usual my daughter wants a girl, my son want a boy. We have a boy name picked all that fun stuff, but I feel so sick. I mean there are days when I can barley move! I cramp sometimes, I have had some bleeing (gone to dr. both times and the baby is fine), I puke not just every day, but every meal. I cannot even stand the smell, site or thought of eggs. (I usually love eggs) I hoped that things would get better after 12 weeks, but would you believe they seemed to have gotten worse! I have had one miscarriage, in between my two kids and I the fear of another is constantly on my mind. Is this kid going to be okay, i ask myself. The dr. says the baby is perfect, doing great, nothing wrong, but everything feels so so wrong. Did you have a pregnancy like this, one that essentially kicked your , wore you out, made it tough to function and kept you worried about the baby inside of you. Was your baby okay? Did everything work out? Any words that can calm me down a bit? I do pray, I do read my bible. I just believe once you loose a baby it is so hard to not worry about it happening again. Maybe Im just wanting let out a few of my worries, my usual personality causes me to make light of things when people see I actually am worrying about something.

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