I feel kind of weird being gay?

i know im gay since 7th grade and i dont think i accepted myself yet. im not upset of disappointed but its kind of weird saying "im gay". no one knows i am except for a few friends. im going to college next year and there's this gay fraternity that i sort of want to join called Delta Lambda Phi, and i did some researching and i found that the members are really comfortable with themselves and they compete in drag shows and performances, i just have this weird and awkward feeling inside like am i ready to be gay? im kind of scared, what do you think it is?